Im someone who loves fresh starts: the beginning of a year, the beginning of a week, month, day... I love the idea of clean slates, that feeling where the past doesn't matter because you can rewrite the future, try again. That's what 2017 has become for me, the rewriting of myself, trying again. I don't know how, or why but as soon as the new year rolled in I finally found the inspiration I needed to give myself the push I needed in the right direction. 2017 for me will be the year of exceeding, perseverance, fighting my lazy, trying new things, pushing myself and finding strength. Last year I lived with the concept of doing things when I felt like it, this year I will do things I usually wouldnt, when I least feel like it.
alongside that though, I don't want to make any plans, and i have no expectations. I want 2017 to surprise me. I commit to going with the flow, accepting every opportunity I get to make more opportunities. I commit to not stressing out about having a perfect year. I accept what will come my way with excitement, anticipation, and trust. For a while I lived with the stress of the future being so unknown. I have no Idea what i want to do with my life, I have no clue what career path to take, or if I even want to take any. I have no clue what my purpose is, and what Im meant to do in this life.
Feeling lost is a scary feeling, it makes you insecure, it makes you doubt, and compare, and it makes you feel irrelevant. But God is amazing, and whenever I fall into this fear of the future, He always reminds me to trust. I trusted Him with my past, and I have no reason to stop now. People always ask me why Im not in college getting a degree. I honestly have no idea what I want, what I would be good at, and what path I need to take. All i know is that if i trust, everything will fall into place and come together just how it should, just like every other event in my life did.
This year all I plan to accomplish really is to make myself into the best person I could be, the person who God created me to be. Not the lazy girl sitting on the sidelines watching life pass her by. I don't want to be mediocre, we aren't meant to be that. I want to exceed my own expectations, and push myself every day to do more. Learn more, love more, live more, try more. Of course there will be many many days where I will fail, where I will want to give up, but the only way to succeed is to keep trying and practicing. Failure will be my drive.
So that's pretty much the plan for the year, to have no plan. A blank page, a fresh start, no expectations. Just me getting to know myself, seeing how far I could push myself, and where that will get me. No pressure to impress anyone but me and the one who created me. No pressure to be like anyone but me. A stronger, cooler, better me.
