Sometimes I pretend Im healthy

I've been struggling with my weight\self image every since I was a teen. I was always bigger than most girls and always struggled to lose weight. I used to try crazy cleanses that ruined my system, used to go on all these diets, but nothing ever worked because... um I love food. haha

Anyways.. I've come a long way as most of my friends know, most people that I've recently met can't even recognize me in my old pictures. It's been a long journey with ups and downs and I believe i'm still on that journey and always will be, because the goal isnt losing weight, the goal is an overall healthy lifestyle, which you guys have probably heard many many times.

Ive changed a lot of my eating and exercise habits, I've learned a ton, tried out a ton, and just want to share some of the small little things you can change throughout the day that can make a big difference over time.

First of all though I want to be discreet and hope you realize that every body is unique and different, and what worked for me might not work for everyone. Also, i'm not an expert so please do your research, just as I did.

I still haven't gotten to my desired weight or size but I definitely have had some crazy progress over the years.

Heres some things that I've learned and have worked for me.

+ The first and most important thing anyone could do is to listen to their body. If your body reacts to something negatively, stay away from that. If you see progress from something, stick to it.

+ Don't be scared to experiment, but do your research. Like I said some things work for people that might not work for others.  See what works for you and stick to that. I've tried cutting out meat, then getting it back in my diet, and my body felt the same whether I ate meat or not. I've tried different cleanses, teas, workout programs, etc. and just stuck to what made me feel best and what I trusted to be healthy for me.

+ Take it one day at a time. Make small changes not drastic ones. Maybe try eating sweets only once a day, or eat carbs one time less than usual. It's easy, and with time you could challenge yourself more, eventually eating as healthy as you've always dreamed of.  For me, thats gonna be a long process. 

+ Its all about balance. I have cheat meals pretty much every day, but with that I try to stay active and make sure I also eat super healthy for the rest of my meals. If I fully cut out foods that aren't the healthiest I know that I eventually will break, and go on a binging spree eating anything that's in front of me. If I let myself have waffles for breakfast, I know I can handle the rest of the day without eating any more sweets or carbs. Once again I love food, and I think food should be enjoyed, and I am not down to eat rice and chicken every day. I love trying new places and trying new foods. 

Once again it's all about balance, if you eat a lot, make sure  you stay active and get a workout in, the next day try to eat healthier or less. 

+You will have bad days and that's fine, girls.. we have em once a month for sure!  So its ok to sometimes let yourself have that ice cream jar. Maybe just share it with someone ;) But don't beat yourself up over it, remind yourself that tomorrow you won't go on a sugar binge because once again, balance. 

+Learn to love yourself now, the way you are. I never agreed with america being ok with obesity or unhealthy lifestyles, I think everyone should strive to be healthy. But I do know hands on that if you don't love yourself at the moment, you won't truly love yourself at 10 pounds less, or a few muscles stronger. Because loving yourself means accepting that you are Gods beautiful creation made in His image, no matter what. You learn to love yourself, you learn the importance of taking care of your body and will have the desire to do so. Im still working on this one. 

Ok, so we went through all the things you can do to prepare yourself and make the journey easier, but here's what I've been loving in the physical aspect of it all. 

+Intermittent fasting: 

A lot of people get scared when I first introduce them to this "lifestyle" but it's really nothing intimidating. And no, unless you are an exception and have a special metabolism, it doesn't damage your stomach. I've been doing it for about 5 months and I don't wanna go back. 

So basically what I do is I eat for 8 hours in a day and fast (don't eat) for 16. No, I don't eat the whole 8 hours, I have two-three filling meals within 8 hours. I start eating at noon, and don't eat after 7.  So I pretty much just skip breakfast. And it works for me because I'm never hungry in the mornings and if I eat late at night I feel sick in the morning. I also don't do it during the weekends to give myself a little break, I just eat whenever, because weekends are for going out and eating late.

For some people it'll take getting used to because you will feel hungry at first, but after a week or so you won't even notice. 

And an even better thing to do is to get a workout in right before your first meal. Its fat burning dreams!

Once again, I'm not an expert so i'll share some videos and articles about it, but basically its great for weight loss, and building up your immune system.

To make it as simple as possible when you go into fasting mode your body first uses the food you ate and burns it for energy, but once it's used all that up, it turns to your fat cells for help, and this pretty much just happens while you're sleeping, a time when you don't even need energy. So, you burn fat while sleeping, who doesn't want that?

Anyways if you're interested here are some informational vids that got me into it. 

https://youtube/gu8KqV90pKk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYAFNYH2gNc

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/AV-OvzrZDATvUxsTDOMWb4fHOGON78cnb9aG4gECjTjBPYspXnBrhl8/

+Intuitive eating:

 This is simple, and goes along with listening to your body. I don't always follow through with this but I try. So a lot of people turn to calorie counting, or micro and macro tracking, and i've tried that, but unless I wanted to be in competitions or something this is just too much work and too complicated for me. So intuitive eating really interested me because it's super easy. All you do is eat when you're hungry and don't eat when you're not. Stop eating if you're full, keep eating if you're not. Pretty much don't stuff yourself. Super easy, super effective. 

+ Calorie in Vs. Calorie out:

the equation to not gaining weight or even losing weight. Just burn more calories than you eat. 

+Hiit:

 has changed my view of cardio, its short for High intensity interval training. 

So why I love hiit is because its pretty much made for quick fat burning. This one is a bit hard to explain but you pretty much do 20 minutes or more of slow, fast, slow, fast cardio. 

So lets say i'm on a treadmill.. I pick a steady speed like 3.. so I fast walk at speed three for a minute thirty and after the minute passes I do an outburst of cardio and sprint as fast as I can for 30 seconds... I do this constantly for twenty minutes. (If it doesn't make sense the videos I linked do a way better job.) 

Personally, I like to do 10 min of hiit on each machine at the gym (stairmaster, treadmill, elliptical, bike) and the best part is you can also do it outside, or at home if you have a staircase ;) and anywhere you please, the possibilities are endless.

Why I love hiit: you sweat twice as much aka burn way more fat than regular cardio, and it takes half the time, plus the workout flies by! 

Another amazing benefit is when you do regular cardio you're not only burning fat but you're also burning muscle, with hiit you burn fat by replacing that fat with muscle, and muscle is essential for burning even more fat. ;) 

This is essential for people who are trying to gain muscle mass, those people need to stay away from regular cardio and really give HIIT a chance.

Anyways, just check these out and then try it out for yourself. 

http://www.shape.com/fitness/workouts/8-benefits-high-intensity-interval-training-hiit

https://youtu.be/H9wyNpr-0Uk

+Weight training: 

its simple, you just lift weights. Some people think lifting weights will get them bulky but it won't, unless you're eating crazy amounts of food. The truth is, muscle pretty much burns fat, and if you do weight training, even when you're done and you're driving home your muscles are still working, burning that fat. I love weight training because I love challenging myself, I love trying out new workouts and I love pushing myself to lift heavier than I did before. 

I could go on and on about everything I've been learning lately about the gym, about fat loss, about healthy living. But once again i'm no expert, I learn from trial and error and I learn from ordinary people who got results. Theres so much information on youtube and all over the web. And over the year I became passionate about learning even more about the body, how it works, and what keeps mine healthy. I just wanted to share the main things I practice in reaching my goal of a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle. 

I learn the most from some of the youtube channels I follow, 

 Some are vlogs, some are informational, and all are super informative. 

Once again, everyone's different, these things might not work for you as they do for me, but you'll never get anywhere If you don't try new things. 

So if you're interested (btw i follow mostly girls, cause im a girl..)

But go check out the 

Gymshark channel its super inspirational (theres guys there too)

with that:

Nikki Blackketter

Jazmine Garcia 

+++Abby Pollock (she focuses on solely information, and I learned the most from her channel )

Robin Gallant

Also check out Buff bunny 

Last but not least have fun, don't let fitness or healthy eating be something you dread, find ways that You enjoy and that work for You. and remember "no matter how slow you go you're still lapping everybody on the couch." 

Just life things

People have asked me why I don't blog anymore, and honestly I don't have a specific reason. Maybe its lack of inspiration, the struggle to put my thoughts together, laziness?
But it's fall and it's the perfect time to be inspired so I have decided to write..something, anything, and just go with it.

I guess I'll do a mini little update of my life and my messy mind.
Ill write what comes to mind, and share it with those who might care. No revisions, just a rough draft of my thoughts.
So beware.

To begin, I want to say that my life couldn't be better, I'm so blessed and so thankful. I have everything I could ever need and so much more. I've had so many amazing opportunities and growths, Ive made so many memories and truly have nothing to complain about.

But life Isn't always flowers and rainbows and I haven't always seen things this way, its taken a lot to get to this place, and day by day I'm still getting there.

Nowadays, people look at our snapchats, instagrams, facebooks and decide they know us. They decide how happy we are and how amazing our life is based on just pictures and videos.

But really, we all forget that people only show the best parts of their lives on social media. No one wants to see the other parts of life that aren't so perfect; when we are sad, stressed, or doing nothing.
I guess we forget that no ones is perfect, and just because a picture may be perfect, the moment might not be. We all have imperfect moments, bad days. We all go through things, its life.

I've had days filled with sunshine and days filled with pouring rain. And each season in my life has gotten me to where I am today.
I guess I just want to share those bad days with you guys, because everyone should know that we all have them and they aren't alone.

-I guess I'll start off with what I struggled with most: comparison, no sense of direction, the feeling that my life is going nowhere.

There's so many expectations; get married, go to college, get a well paying career, have an amazing home with perfect furniture, have perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect relationships.

Social media just got to me, and for a moment in my life it brainwashed me into feeling like I had to live up to those standards, and I just couldn't keep up.

It took a breakdown for me to realize that life shouldn't be that way. I've learned to take life day by day, seeking opportunities and taking them, trusting God. I've learned to be content with who I am and what I've made of my life. I reminded myself that God expects us to be thankful no matter what we have and where we are in life.

I stopped looking at other people's lives with want and jealousy but with happiness for them, and realization that everyone is different, everyone has their own story, and that's what makes life amazing.  I remember that life isn't about materialistic things, and it makes everything so much easier.

-Alongside that, I've had days where I felt like I was letting everyone down, and with that I  felt I was mostly letting God down.

Getting married and moving away comes with lots of changes, and with that it's easy to make mistakes, it's easy to lose sight of yourself, and miss what you used to have.
But moving out of a small town into a big one, meeting new people who are different than what you're used to, is obviously going to change you in a way or another.
Theres the need to fit in, a need to be liked, and a desire to find your place.
As difficult enough as it is, with that, there's the stress of standing your ground in your beliefs and who you are.
And with every change or mistake that I made people started to look at me differently, and judge every move I made.

I mean it's whatever, we all do it, I catch myself all the time.
But I realized that we should just give each other some slack and instead of judging, or bashing on each other, we should be there for each other and lift each other up. There's always a reason behind people's actions, and maybe sometimes all people need is a nice gesture, or reminder that they are not alone.

It's hard to please everyone, make everyone happy. But as long as we focus on growing, learning from our mistakes, and moving forward, it shouldn't matter what people say, as long as you're trying your best to improve your relationship with the Lord.

But with all this being said, and I know I'll be contradicting myself, I also learned be open to criticism. At least from those I trust.
Because we don't always see the whole picture. So it's our job not to take people's words so negatively and use them to evaluate our lives and see what positive changes we need to make.
 I learned it the hard way, because I do not take criticism well, but in the end it opened my eyes and gave me the desire to be better for myself and for the Lord.

-Another thing I've struggled with, is with so much change, came the need to fill the empty holes in my life.
I found myself struggling to keep up with old relationships, struggling to contact those I love or used to be close with, I would be scared they forgot about me or that things would be different. I got the idea that no one cares anymore.
But I had to learn to move on, keep those people in my heart and focus on the now. I wouldn't change who I was and the way I grew up for anything. But I had to learn that things won't be like that anymore. Everyone changes, everyone grows up, and everyone moves on.
I guess all my struggles derive from the big changes in my life. But I learned that I am where I need to be, and people come and go, but they all make an impact and I'm thankful for all of them.

- I guess that's all that came to my mind for now, and like you probably noticed, It's not always coffee dates, traveling, hiking, and fun for me.
There's inner struggles, outer struggles, adjustments, and lots of work.

But thats what Im thankful for most, I know that no matter what I go through, no matter how many rainy storms pass my life, i'm always left with rainbows.  Sometimes I look at my life and all I could do is smile, because all the good things in my life surpass the bad.

Through all the hard times we only grow into something better. Flowers don't just grow overnight, they take time. So that's what I'm doing... day by day I fall, but I always get back up.

So that's where I am in life, growing, exploring, changing. I might not be who I was, but that's okay, because people aren't meant to stay in one place. Sometimes we have to be born out of the dirt, rained on by many storms until we could be beautiful. It's a long process, and it might be a never ending one, but each moment of it is so amazing.

I also hope we can all remember that life's best moments are not in the pictures we take. The best moments are when the phone and camera is not there. The sincere smiles, laughs, intimate moments. The moments when you embrace your surroundings, and really take in the view. The sunsets you don't post because you're so blown away with them, the coffee dates you don't post because you're too busy talking. I'm trying to appreciate that. I envy those people who aren't so attached to their phones, and I'm trying to get there.

So there we go.. a mini, shortened, update on my life right now.
It really is amazing,
and I hope you realize that even if it might not always feel like it,
yours probably is too.

So thanks for reading, I hope I can start posting a lot more and about way more interesting things, so give me a chance and you might learn something new.

Love, Vika Kay <3

(shoutout to my amazing husband who sticks with me through it all, who supports me and loves me, and makes my life a never ending adventure )

Genuinely happy

Im learning to be content, with myself, my life ,and everything that I have. Ive always wanted more, better, and thats ok sometimes, but came the point where I had to learn to be thankful and satisfied. I dont live in my dream home or apartment, but at least I have a place to live. I dont have my dream body, but at least im healthy, alive, and someone loves me for who I am. I have more clothes than I need. I dont make lots of money or have an amazing proffesion, but I love my temporary job. I always have enough to have food on the table, and go out with friends.

This life teaches us to be needy, thirsty for more, for better. But I want to be thirsty for Christ, thirsty to be a better person, and things of higher importance.

We focus so much on impressing others, we care so much of peoples opinion. But we forget to care about what matters to God. Ive drowned myself in a continuous worry that someone might judge my place in life, look down on me. But Ive learned that theres better things to worry about, more important things like loving others, spreading joy, lending a hand, being friendly, serving, and genuinely doing thise things, not to impress others. We focus so much on whats temporary; making lots of money, having nice things, how many followers we have on instagram, how many likes we have, how popular we are, how hot we are. And I got to the point where I was addicted to it.

But now I want to focus on the big picture; that theres better, more intense and meaningful things in store for us. All else will fade away and then we will be left with nothing.

So i want to be careless, but careful, I want to think of higher things. Soak up life; live for relationships, experiences, journeys, sunsets, moments. Not for things and momentary pleasures. I want to be genuinely happy.

And then, if we are content with what we have, happy, we can share that with others, and God will give back and provide with more.

So I just want to say that no matter what, im happy with where im at. Im so blessed and thankful. I no longer want to care about lowly things. Things that are temporary are a waste of sweet precious time that you could be using to TRULY live and enjoy life.
People have been learning to live for themselves nowadays, for their own pleasure, gain, and attention. But I know someone who can fill all those voids.
So im learning to be content and happy with where im at, and to share that happiness with others.

For the love of junk

Andrey and his friends introduced me to a hike we call Morrison.(http://alltrails.com/trail/us/colorado/mt-morrison-direct-east-face)
Now if I could describe this hike in any way, I'd say its like a 14er without the elevation. Morrison is if im not wrong about a 3 mile hike with a constant, ongoing, super steep incline. Me and andrey went once or twice last year..but I started hiking it by myself about two weeks ago. Its not an easy trail but my first time going up, I killed it! Slayyedd it. With fear of snakes being my drive I made it to the very top in 45 minutes. Everyone I told was pretty impressed because I guess thats a pretty good time. Now, the trail pretty much consists of two parts... the first part is the worst.. its the steepest and hardest on your body, the second part consists of mild rock climbing and scrambling up boulders. I did it three days in a row that week, and each time it took longer because my body was exhausted, but it did feel easier on my heart and lungs.

So here's where im going with this... a week and a half later I decide to go back up...and this time I learned a valuble lesson.

The first time I did Morrison I was on this streak of being very physically active and eating super clean... but last week, until this day, I completey destroyed everything. I ate junk all week; chips, desert, pizza, ice cream..
 And I was a lot lazier then usual. Because of this (and my hurt ankle) I finished morrison (the whole thing) 15 minutes later than my fastest time, and with a sick feeling the whole way up.

I sufferred up that thing so much that I made myself a goal that I would never treat my body like that again. I plan on staying as active as I can and eating as clean as I can all week. So that next week when I do morrison again, I could possibly beat my time or at least be close to it. Most of all though, so that I could hike without feeling sick.

With all this being said..I truly realized that what goes in, does come out. I put junk in my body, I felt like terrible and got terrible results. When I took care of my body, I got results I was happy with and felt good about myself. I realized how truly important it is to stay away from unhealthy foods and to stick to the healthy eating lifestyle. So I hope I could get to the point where I dont fall into this junk food trap again.

Another reminder I took to myself from this, was that this totally applies to our spiritual health as well. If we watch junk, listen to junk, think about pointless things..then it will all come out and show on the outside. You will never progress in who you are, you will only slow down. What you put inside your spirutual life will affect your attitude, your personality, and your vibe. The more good you fill your mind with, and the more Christ you fill your heart with, the more you will show: joy, love, peace and other amazing qualities. You will get to where you want to spiritually and from there get even better. A healthy spiritual lifestyle wont make you feel sick as you walk on this trail of life.(how deep)

 This makes me so thankful that God provides us with so many chances.
As much as we fall, consume junk, as often as we give up, or get stuck, life goes on and each new day we have the chance to change. That means you dont have to spend it being stuck in one place, you can try again, you can push harder, you can improve. So dont live your life thinking this is all you've got, this is all you're capable of. We all fall, and if I can get out of my junk food rut and pursue my goals then I can get out of my spiritually low rut. So can you! We all need to take every day to advantage and just try again from a clean slate.

I think we all fall, or get stuck in a rut once in a while to truly realize how much better life is when we are out of it. Maybe I think to much, but im glad I could take something for myself in random situations. Most of all I encourage all Colorado residents to hike Morrison at least once this summer. Because look how many lessons it taught me in just an hour. If you dont live in Co sorry. Jk... just going outside and enjoying nature teaches you so much in itself, you can learn from anything.

Still married

It hasn't even hit me that I'm married and it's already been a whole year since I said I do to my favorite person in the whole world. It seems like just yesterday I was getting ready to walk down the aisle, but here we are a year later having already made so much memories and fallen in love so much more. Its been a journey that I wouldn't replace with anything. There were ups and Downs but we have grown so much as people, as husband's and wife's, and so much closer that life right now just seems perfect. God seriously sent me the perfect man; one who loves me, spoils me, tries for me and always makes me feel like a princess. We have accomplished so much together already that the future just seems even brighter. I'm so excited for what's ahead and I'm so excited to face it with him; all the challenges and all the good times.  We work so well as a team, we are insepperable, and I'm sure that bond will get that much stronger down the line. I have truly seen Gods hand in our lives and His love through Andrey. A year of Marriage is already longer than some have lived together, and it wasn't always easy, but it's always always  been worth it. I never thought I could be so loved or love so much. My life is truly an adventure and a fairy tale and I'm so thankful and so blessed beyond belief. I can truly say I don't deserve such an amazing husband, but I sure am so glad to have him. ;)


Here's a glimpse of our year in no particular order.

Lets talk about doubts, faith, and believing in ourselves.

I was recently reading Matthew and i came across the verse where Jesus states that if we had faith the size of a mustard seed we could move mountains. Have you ever tried it? Moving a mountain, or anything at all, merely with faith.
Close your eyes, think of an object, and believe that you could move it. Did it work? If it did, then I want to meet you because you have more faith than most of us. Every time i close my eyes in the back of my head i still have thoughts of unbelief, excuses on why i cant do it, and a preset notion already set in my mind that it would never work. But imagine if we had but a tiny speck of faith, all that we could do.

Lately Ive been drowning in doubt and unbelief, in myself, which comes down to being pretty equivalent to doubting God. Ive been working so hard on myself, trying to change how i see myself and what i think of myself but it keeps getting worse. Nothing anyone could tell me could change my mind. And trust me, my husband has tried ever since we got married. Im getting deep and personal here but i know i cant be the only one going through this.

This world gave us its qualifications of beauty, it tells us the way we should act: whats cool, whats trending, it constantly reminds us that we are not enough, that we must spend tons of money on perfecting our image and tons of time trying to fit in. And I am a poor victim of this dilemma. Constant comparison, constant discouragement, distrust, and so much doubt fills my heart. Oh evil world, what have you done to us?

I know that if you meet me, you would never think that i struggle with something as low and pathetic as self doubt, and a low self esteem. This me comes out when im alone, or at my lowest point. When im vulnerable, when  im sad, and when im far from God, and its really ugly.

I spent my whole life knowing God, serving God, and loving God. But this world got the best of me, and everyday im fighting the demolish these ideas that satan put into my heart.  "I;m ugly, I'm fat, not cool enough, not smart enough, not active enough," there are so many not enoughs'. But these are all mere ideas, and an idea is far from the truth.

There is one thing that I'm always sure of though, its that God knows the truth, He is the truth, and he shares that truth with us everyday. Most of the time, i just have a hard time listening.

If i had the faith of a mustard seed, I would KNOW that God made me perfect in His image. I would be sure in the fact that He loves me because He created me. If i had the faith of a mustard seed, there would be no comparison, no not good enoughs, no doubts, i would live my day knowing that i have a bigger purpose, that im important, and that i am loved for who God made me.

But, when I try closing my eyes and try believing in the fact that I am enough, that I am made beautifully in His image,  i still have thoughts of unbelief, excuses on why it cant be true, and a preset notion already set in my mind that i could never believe in myself.

Man this is getting really really personal, but i promise i am going somewhere with this....

I am sure of one thing, its that I love God and that He loves me,
He loves me so much that He sent His son to die for me.

So the fact that i still go day by day doubting myself just proves my lack of faith.
Because God almighty, the creator of all, loves ME. He thinks im beautiful, He thinks im enough, He thinks im worth it. And that alone should be enough of a truth for me to believe in myself, and to love myself.

All it takes is for me to have faith, and to believe. And isnt that what I base my whole life on?

i realized all this thanks to one verse, a verse that made me feel ashamed in my lack of faith, a verse that made me reevaluate what i consider truth. If i believe in God, and the fact the He loves me, i should believe in myself, I should appreciate how He made me, and having doubt in myself is merely having doubt in Him.

Faith, faith in God is the answer to all of our problems, we must believe He has a better plan, we must believe He loves us, we must believe He made us beautiful . Because if we dont, then whats the point of living. Imagine if we truly believed in ourselves, all the things we could do, accomplish. If we experienced faith in full capacity we could do the unimaginable.

I am a lost soul, sucked deep into this world, but God never lets go, He always brings me home. I'm not going to change in a day, but as  long as I believe and hold on to the truth, God will transform me, and heal me, and help me heal others.

Those of you struggling with the same thing, dont give up hope. There is an exit, and an entrance into a better life, where you KNOW you are beautifully made, and you know you are worth it.

I love you, and the fact the God loves you, should be enough to let you know that YOU are ENOUGH.

Why I blog

I blog purely for myself. I do it to keep track of my thoughts, experiences, interests. Someday I'll look back and read all that I wrote,  and I'll get to see the progress I've made in life, the changes I went through, and all the experiences I've had. I blog because I've always loved writing, Ever since I was a little girl I wrote stories, poems, and my thoughts in journals, which I had an overload of. And till this day it makes me happy. I don't think I would ever pursue anything more than just writing with this, I don't care to earn money with it, I don't care to please or impress people with it, I do it for pure enjoyment and I think pursuing anything else with it will ruin that. I'm an average writer, pretty mediocre, and I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. But I do share my thoughts with others because maybe in some way God can impact someone through my experiences and thoughts. I see that blogging has become a trend, and almost a competition, and that makes me sad. In this society I wouldn't even consider myself a blogger, just someone who likes to write. So if you do read my blog, I hope you don't have high expectations, and I hope you enjoy it for what it it, just the thoughts of a 21 year old girl getting through life.

Only you can tell yourself that you can't

The only person that can tell you that you can't, is you. I realized this while at the gym one day. All those you're not good enoughs, all those you don't belongs, all those you never wills, and all those you cants, are told by no one other than yourself. Sure others might say these things; but it's you who confirms, you who choses to accept, and believe those things about yourself. You are who you think you are,  you may put up an image for others, but on the inside you're completely who you make yourself up to be. So if you want to be a better person, tell yourself that you can be, if you want to be in shape, show yourself it's possible, if you want to be smart, use your brain, if you want to be beautiful, believe that you are. The possibilities are endless when you let them be. You are your own destruction, you are your own strength. You are your own limits, your own possibilities. No one else can tell you who to be, and how to be.  Never forget that. never let your biggest enemy be yourself.

Go live, He provides

Luke 12:24 "Consider the ravens:they do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!"

I've been thinking a lot about how I want to live my life, and what I want to do with it. And I came to the conclusion that thinking about that isn't necessary. Sure in certain situations you must plan ahead, but I'm talking about life as a whole. I decided that I'm not going to worry about my future and just take life day by day. Throughout my whole life God has provided for me, He always shows me that He knows what's best for me, and everything I've been through has shaped me and made me grow. I don't know how, and it's not my doing, but God just always made trusting Him easy for me. I never really planned out my life because God has showed me over and over that He provides. He showed me this through school, college, jobs, a husband and so much more. I never had a doubt that if I put my trust in God that He will always lead me somewhere that will bring him glory but will also benefit me. Of course I had my ups and downs ..as I got older I had to make bigger decisions, and trust got harder..but God always reminded me that I had no need to try to do things on my own, because that's always a fail.
 This truth has literally made my life so easy, sometimes it blows my mind. So here's where I'm going with this...
The older I get the more I see how fast time flies, and we really don't have much time left on this earth. So while I'm here I want to give it my all, really use my abilities and talents, as well as take and embrace every opportunity that God puts in my way. I don't ever want to miss an opportunity just because its out of my comfort zone, or seems impossible. We all know that with God everything is possible. I choose not to hold on to things of this earth, specifically money.. as long as we balance it in a way that let's us get by and survive, I hope to never limit myself in seeing the world, or helping those in need. I would rather choose simplicity than luxury when it comes down to truly experiencing this huge world that God has made. I really learned to go for anything that will help me grow, help me truly love and enjoy life, and help me get closer to God. I dont want to settle for mediocre, i want to be the best I can be. Im so blessed to live in a time filled with opportunity, and peace, I hope to not take that for granted. Sure, life isn't as easy as I'm putting it out to be, we all face hard times and trials, but it really helps when you remind yourself that we are here temporarily, that God always provides, and that He will always lead you to where you need to be, and I say that from experience. I realize more and more that  we will all die someday, but I hope I leave this life having fully lived, fully giving it my all, fully experiencing God, and fullfilling my purpose. I live by the truth that God provides, and I really reccomend it to everyone. It makes life so much more easier, so if you haven't yet, I really suggest you give it a try.

Love, Viki

MATTHEW 6:31-32
"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?'or 'What shall we drink' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them."

21 years of living

Time is flying by so crazy fast, it felt like I'd be waiting eternity until I fly out to Florida for my birthday, and now the trip is just around the corner. Yesterday I was driving, and it only hit me then, that my birthday is this week and I didn't even pick up my free birthday gift at sephora! I honestly thought it was in like two weeks. But tomorrow I'll be another year older.
 I'm so thankful to God for such a blessed eventful year. So much happened this year that it's hard to even keep up, so many major changes. I got married, that's pretty huge. I Moved to a new state, met so many new amazing people, got a job I love, traveled, hiked, climbed some 14ers, learned how to cook somewhat, had red hair, and the list could go on and on. I honestly think that this was my year of growth and transformation. All these big changes in my life also changed who I am. I had no choice but to become more open minded, more social, more accepting to stepping out of my comfort zone. I've learned so much about myself, good and bad. Its been an amazing journey. I'm so thankful for the people in my life.
My parents literally got me through 21 years of my life, always supporting me, teaching me, showing me how to be the best I can be. I'm so thankful that they are the way that they are. Im so thankful for my siblings that I absolutely adore! They are my best friends, and I wish I could watch them grow up, but the distance makes me appreciate them so much more. Im blessed with the best family, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. I'm extra thankful for my husband..he has to deal with my brokeness, the wild child inside me, and he still loves me no matter what, he's my best friend in life and I cant imagine my life without him, I'm so blessed with his family as well, they are so accepting and loving.  I'm grateful for all my new friends; that they accepted me, and are there for me. Angie, I wouldn't survive Denver without you, who else would go try out new places with me? I'm thankful for all my childhood friends, they also made me who I am, and I miss them all so much. (Thank you for always bringing out the adventurer in me)
God has blessed me so much in my life, and I don't understand why, but I live day by day with a thankful heart. Everything I've been through, only gets me closer to where I'm headed. I hope this 21st year of my life I can become an even better me. I'm excited for what's in store. Life is so grand and so precious and I plan to live every moment of it to the fullest, and even though I'm getting older..I forever refuse to grow up. #foreveryoung

                          Familia\Friends ⬇

Nanny love ⬇

Jamaican me crazy ⬇

14ers ⬇

Garden of the gods ⬇

                                       First married hikes ⬇

Red rocks concert ⬇

Chicago ⬇

Renaissance fair ⬇

                                                      Moab ⬇

Canada ⬇

Holidays ⬇

Portland ⬇

Thanks for reading, viki.